It was a cold winter morning when Bunny Boy and I arrived at the set of Gutter Punks 2. I knew this because Bunny Boy’s hairs were standing high. His hairs usually do that just before I slap him for taking too many selfies. I had a sense of envy as I looked around the set. All I could think to myself was, the Grotesk short didn’t have that! We didn’t even get sleep! It was apparent that naps have become a necessity because of the hectic work schedule as most of the main characters were passed out all around the stage, some of the punks even created tents with their leather jackets. One of the Punks blurted, “We need a bigger budget! So I can have a leather pillow!” Another punk immediately responded to the outburst, “Are you gonna stud the pillow?’’ The first agitated punk yelled back,” Hell Yeah! I need the studs to keep my Mohawk in shape.”
A lot has been closed lipped about the project and we weren’t allowed to talk to any of the main stars in case they blurted out details in a drunken haze. However, one of the characters had just finished a scene and he was more than happy to give us an Interview. After shooting many takes “Beer” was extremely grateful to be free of a tight grip he had been in for the duration of the scene.
RUMPERSKULLSKIN – Thank you for giving us the time to interview you Beer.
BEER – Anything to get out of my co-star’s hands, the guy hasn’t bathed in so many years. I can smell my ancestors on him! I don’t know why he keeps getting roles but I think the director and him go way back.
RUMPERSKULLSKIN – So I take it you’re not getting along well with your co-stars.
BEER – Oh! I get on well, very well! I’m easily replaceable so I need to keep my cool but if I’m too chilled then I’m gone.
RUMPERSKULLSKIN – Must be difficult to not reach boiling point when being in this environment.
BEER – Dude, I’m beer any excuse to make me disappear these guys will use it, doesn’t matter what boiling point I reach.
RUMPERSKULLSKIN – How do you deal with the pressure, it must be easy to crack under it all.
BEER – Dude! They used some of my friends for sound effects! Sound effects! Thank Horus they emptied out their life essence before they threw them to the ground, such humanity. You know my ancestors inspired the Egyptians to build the pyramids, we were like the link or whatever to the Gods, I see no Gods here.
RUMPERSKULLSKIN – Wow! How have you survived this long?
BEER – I chill with the ciders.
RUMPERSKULLSKIN – Yeah Ciders weren’t used in the last episode, if I recall. What is different now that you have reprised your role and what was it like to return?
BEER – Well in the last episode I wasn’t featured as much, I only appeared right at the end, Vodka got the lime light in that episode. They only re-hired me because the budget was low and Vodka has been getting a lot of Hipster work, he has gotten expensive and the new guys on the scene are cheap but have been making people blind. With regards to reprising my role, it is different. In the last episode I had to be de-capped, it was so revealing but I got through it, I was young at the time, only just a dumpy but now I’m a quart and I made sure I would stay capped for my scene, but with all the rewriting and what I’ve seen the younger guys go through, Oh! Sweet Horus! I am truly worried about my safety.
At this time of the interview the Punk’s were forced to awaken from their leather tented naps to get ready for the next scene. Beer didn’t react much but I could sense he was worried because he started to fizz.
BEER – Ok, I think I better get going I’m not in this scene but I might be called in for off camera work.
RUMPERSKULLSKIN – Before we finish do you have anything else you want to say.
BEER – Yeah! Get me to the Ciders! Now!
Before I could respond to Beer’s sudden request, I had already been ordered to leave the set, I don’t take to kindly to orders but for Beer this was an exception. I picked him up as he tilted his cap towards the Ciders. The Ciders had been overwhelmed with spider webs. The last thing I heard Beer say was, “I’ll be safe here.” Just as the Director yelled out, “Leave! Don’t worry about the Beer we know where he hides! We need him for part 2.”
As I rushed out I looked back at where I left Beer. I felt some bit of concern for the guy, but I was more focused on what the Director had said, part 2. What the rut did he mean about part 2!? Grotesk didn’t get a part 2! I better go speak to my agent.